you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
