Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
