yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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