Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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