With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Randomize
