she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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