let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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