weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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