My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
