just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
