how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize