I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
