at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
