is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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