I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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