so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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