the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
