Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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