I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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