You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
