Your tits are I can't wait for
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
