And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
