He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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