So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize