You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
