I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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