I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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