It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
