Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
