'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
