garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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