If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
