who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
