you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
