Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
