im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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