You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize