bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
And then he peed in my hair
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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