Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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