Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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