A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
