The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize