Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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