i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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