pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
