think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
