problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize