is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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