he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
