Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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