this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
