I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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