you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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