super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
