If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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