If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
