It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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