I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
