You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
