I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Ketchup is God's man juice
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
