I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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