Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he fucked my hip out of place.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
