He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
