i need an iv and a liver transplant
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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