ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
