I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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